Climate Fandango

“Ohh we have you been these last two weeks MrT? Have you not heard of all the fires and raging storms and towns being swept away in torrential floods?…Don’t walk away like that. Answer the question for heaven’s sake!!

“I’ll have you know MrsT that I have been following a villain, in the papers that is. This villain is the one responsible for all those problems you talk about. Now COP26 is a great big meeting of all the big folks talking about fixing all those problems causing rising temperatures or CO2, the villain’s name.”

“So how is talking going to fix our little problem here,” said MrsT rather pointedly, “Yak Yak Yak…”

Ignoring the question MrT continued, “It began two weeks ago. A little country, Iceland set up their own pavilion in Glasgow, Scotland and they called CO2 the villain. But they went further telling the world what they are doing to capture this villain.

“Carry on MrT I’m all ears,” said MrsT perking up somewhat.

“It seems like they have advanced their technology so far that they can store CO2 in stone and store it underground. Others claim that their geothermal production and shipping of gas mitigate the effects of CO2. Then the Iceland’s Prime Minister turns up and says, “We have not done enough, we must do more.”

She was referring to the 2015 Paris Agreement and maybe she warned of repeating that this time around. Everyone seemed to agree that if things could be done to reduce global warming by 1.5C then humanity might survive and a big part of ‘those things’ is to do away with coal.

“That’s a whole lot of hot air they talked about for two weeks if you ask me,” said MrsT thinking of an analogy…”You know it’s like when you go too fast the copper fines you then you go to X-COPPER to get the fine chopped in half if you’re lucky.”

“Seems to me,” said MrT “That the fairest climate change move is one where if you caught speeding you get fined. No…no…no hear me out on this MrsT. So lets say Joe burns coal like there’s no tomorrow and if he’s not brought in line there will be no tomorrow. Now to bring him in line. Carbon pricing ensures that polluters pay for their emissions. Joe pays a price equal to the cost of carbon emissions. Moe on the other hand has gone green, done away with coal in favour of wind power and harnessing hydro and should be rewarded maybe with points.”

“So how did it all end up MrT? The conference I mean.”

“Well the final agreement was reached yesterday after a long plenary session, the result of which was to lower the dependence on coal and not eliminate it. China Joe and India Joe protested. They are big folks with loud voices MrsT and on the side a few countries said they could not survive without deforestation.”

I’m going out to buy a boat and supplies to last a year so we can sail the rising sea and skirt the shoals of moral and climate bankruptcy. Will you join me MrsT?”

“Nah! I’m going to stop the world and get off. Destination unknown.”

#climate #nature #satire