Telly Time

What would life be without the telly to entertain, inform and educate us? A remarkable average of 2.5 sets per household tells us it is a necessity like the fridge. Both are getting smarter. Imagine sets in the family room, kitchen, lounge or maybe the master bedroom. You can’t move without bumping into the Prime Minister giving a spiel about how good he is or the commercial for that nose cleaner thingamajig. There is no excuse for not being up to date on who bombed who and who won the “So you think you can dance” series.

The pattern of a day’s TV watching might go something like this: The kids are spread over the family room couch watching Sesame Street in the morning while Mom is preparing lunch for them in the kitchen and watching the Morning Show. Dad is putting the finishing touches to his attire for the day and keeping an eye on the Weather channel. The kids take in a few more hours before dinner while Mom & Dad chill out in front of the baseball and news in the evening.

On average a person watches 28 hours of TV each week or 4 hours per day. Cultivated couch potato’s we are. An hour in the morning, an hour in the afternoon and two hours in the evening would do it. But who has time for this? It can’t be Mom or Dad as they are running around being busy with stuff so they might get to three hours per day between the morning show and the baseball game in the evening followed by some news. The Super Bowl and other sports coverage or even a movie with a TV dinner on the weekend would add a few more hours to the weeks watching. The kids must then be glued for a little more than 4 hours a day to make up the 28 hours.

Commercials take up a quarter of every hour of programming so that viewers are subject to an hour of advertisers influence every day. Billions and rising is spent a year by companies eager to flog their goods and services. Shorter commercials are being made so more messages can be crammed into the potato’s craniums.

Automobile commercials appear so often they drive viewers crazy. One after another like a traffic jam they tout how tough and powerful they are, taking on human qualities. The Dodge Ram is all guts and glory. Nissan escapes monsters in mud while other autos breeze through icy elements. Slogans such as “confidence in motion”, “built free”, “relieves gas pains” and “driven by passion” are used to try and connect with potential consumers. It is hard to imagine anyone saying “I like that Mazda and how they say “driving matters” so I will buy one tomorrow”. Buying an auto is not a snap decision.

Fast food chains are another section of commercials trying to create an appetite for their offerings. McDonalds “loving it(s)” chance to embed a cookie in the subconscious to remind folks to stop by and have a big one and fries is memorable. The golden arches have to be one of the most recognizable landmarks in North America. To Harvey’s “its a beautiful thing” and KFC proclaims, “its finger licking good” while Dairy Queen, insists it is “fan food, not fast food”. Burger King is “the home of the whopper” and Subway wants you to “eat fresh”.

Recording a program and skipping the commercials is a pleasure.

Reality TV is so unreal. It’s a misnomer. What should be unscripted and impromptu is often full of coaching, storylines are generated ahead of time and scenes are staged or re-staged for the cameras. It is however an immensely popular form of entertainment. Candid Camera first aired in 1948. Since then producers ratings have soared. Reality TV comes in different shapes and sizes.

Documentary-style programs depict people going about their daily lives. Story plots resemble soap operas where “Judge Judy” has the final say. Viewers can regard themselves as “Survivors”.

“Bachelorette” and other dating programs have lost their luster with viewers.

Keen on that renovation? All you need to know is covered in makeover shows like “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”, “Designed to Sell” and “Holmes on Homes”. Houses are gutted and interiors refurbished to the utter delight of the returning owners. The ‘oohs’, ‘aahs’ and tears seem insincere. “Hoarders” compulsive urge to gather as much clutter as possible is an insurmountable problem.

“Slow TV” is the marathon coverage of stories and events. Programs extend over multiple series drawing out the conclusion. DVD sets are available for fans to peruse in case they missed something in the TV series. The American fantasy drama “Game of Thrones” is going into its sixth season and is an immensely popular HBO program. You cannot just watch one or two episodes. It requires a long-term commitment like marriage.

It is no wonder that an average of 28 hours per week is spent in front of the telly.