A Pandemic Parody

Ooooooohhh Funky Folks it’s back to the future where thoughts from the novels “Animal Farm”, “1984” and “Brave New World” swirl about in my head. Maybe this parody runs something like this…

Coronavirus has invoked a “perpetual war” on us so says “Airship1” piloted by “Big Bro” who is watching over us. You know it was WHO that whispered the word PANDEMIC. All hell broke loose.

The bottom fell out of the stock market in a panic. It began on an “Animal Farm” according to the Ministry of Truth where the animals went berserk, something like Woodstock that went viral. Farmer Brown was last seen chasing chickens over the horizon.

At “Big Bro’s” request the other Ministries jumped on the bandwagon.

First up were the Ministries of Travel and Public Safety who spread the word so to speak by decreeing that borders be closed and are recalling those Funky Folks living the life of Riley in Utopia. “Hey Farmer Brown come home now We have our own homemade chicken hatch for you. You will have to self-isolate there to prevent you becoming an “unperson”, a virus victim who has slipped into a “Memory Hole” or detained in “Room 101”.

It’s a “Brave New World” now Funky Folks. That Huxley fellow looked to Shakespeare for inspiration for his title.

“O wonder!m How many goodly creatures are there here. How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world,That has such people in’t.

William Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act V, Scene I, ll. 203–206[6]

Isolating is not for the faint hearted. Braveheart’s prevail. Isolating is contrary to our nature. This is where the Ministries of Love and Plenty were called upon to convey warm and fuzzy feelings to all isolators. To this end they stipulated that henceforth deferrals of burdens such as mortgage, tax, loans and other such payments, together with companies coming together offering free services will be the helping hands that save you. In return just wash them, please. Your hands.

“No worries Funky Folks the empty store shelves will be replenished like the loaf that fed many. No frenzy no more. Be calm and carry on isolating. If you are not isolating go directly to “Room 101”. Torture awaits you there. This is no “Doublespeak” I tell you.

A parody with no pardon. You’d better believe it.

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