Beans

Funky Folks you are wondering why on earth talk about beans. Well for one thing they pack a powerful array of nutrients. Essential energy building stuff I say. Well there are all kinds of beans as you know; kidney, black, Lima, Cannellini, Garbanzo, Great Northern and Pinto. The list goes on. I’m still searching for the Book of Beans by Airy Fable.

You know they put beans in a jar and you have to guess how many there are. The closest guess wins a packet of beans. Fancy that Funky Folks.

Firstly journalists sit to the side of the Bean Count furiously typing all the action going on for their article ‘Contestants Sweat in the Heat of the Bean Count’.

Now economists would base their guess on supply and demand. The total volume of beans produced (the supply) related to the size of the jar (the demand) and assuming the weather and population are constant their guess is as good as mine.

Mathematicians likely would use a formula for calculating the outcome while scientists probably would blow it up. Physicians on the other hand might use quantum theory.

Of course lawyers would dispute the whole process arguing that a license is required to put beans in a jar besides which beans deserve better treatment given their qualities.

Philosophers to begin would ask, “Is your jar half-full or half-empty?”

Accountants insist on counting the number of beans in that jar. You see Funky Folks that is why they are called “Bean Counters”. They have to spend years and years studying how to count beans. You know there are even standards that are adopted worldwide for these Funky Accountant Folks. These have been drafted by the Master himself, no other than Mr. Bean. To this end they have to qualify the bean count in a lengthy report. If they get it wrong the lawyers will jump in calling on the expert advice of economist, mathematicians etc. Then ‘The Accountant’ will pull out his guns in defense. They will contemplate how full their jar is. It’s good to have a reserve of beans. Counting beans is a stressful pastime, taxing you might say. Let me tell you Funky Folks that I know all this from experience. I am a Bean Counter, a Beanie and a has been Bean Counter.

You see Funky Folks I come from a long line of beanies which reminds me to I must find Jack. I hear he has a network of beanies.

Ohh and thank you Mr. John Cleese for this one…”It’s fun to charter an accountant, and sail the wide accountancy. To find explore, the funds offshore, and skirt the shoals of bankruptcy” – Accountancy Shanty – Monty Python

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