Whose Ping Is It Anyway?

OMG Funky Folks talking about pings is way over my head. It is so, so technical. But lets give it a go. Wayback a Mr. Muus developed this software for testing an IP address. It used sonar sound like dolphin chatter hence the “Ping” you get when an email or message arrives in your inbox. It means everything is hunky-dory with the network. Lets just say that a Ping carries a ton of baggage, bits and bytes ‘n stuff, with it and leave it at that. Maybe a little story can help get this Packet Internet Groper thing into my head. Bingo.

Once upon a time in a household this family full of different ages went about their business, busying for Christmas Day on it’s Eve. The crinkle of wrapping paper and the ‘screee-t of sticky tape warped down the stairs and into Grandma’s ears that are sharper than any pixies. This Grandma could hear a whisper in a thunder storm. No point in tiptoeing around her.

Like modern families this family has a host of cellphones all connected in a WhatsApp group, except for Grandma. One can imagine the rush of blood caused by one ping arriving in each and every members cellphone.,,“Ping”, all around this household the urgent sound sounded.

“Whose Ping is that?” says Grandma as if she has been waiting for a Ping. She giggled imagining the entire family rush for their phones.

Moments later ‘Bubbles’ the youngest family member hands her phone to Grandma. “It’s Unky Ding, Gwanny, he wants to speak to you” she says handing her phone to Grandma.

“Hello Unky Ding” says Granma imitating Bubbles squeaky voice.

“Hi Mom. How are you? Coping with the Christmas chaos in the Chatter house are you?

Dingford was her yougest child and her favourite. She could see the wink in his words and she smiled. “Just calling to wish you Merry Christmas Mom and don’t let brother James get too boisterous tomorrow. Remember how tipsy he was”

“Thanks for the call Unky Ding. I hope you folks have a shin-ding tomorrow. Love to all. Bye.”

Grandma looked over to James sitting in his armchair with his head back emitting a sonar like snore oblivious to the Christmas chaos around him. Grandma smiled.

She messaged the number for “Daddy” on Bubbles phone and watched.

James jumped at the ping. His hands checked his pockets, then he looked at the side table, the floor beneath his feet. He was on his hands and knees looking under the Christmas Tree next to the armchair. He emerged holding Bubbles who had fallen asleep hoping to see Santa arrive with all the presents. He carried the sleeping Bubbles up the stairs to bed. It was only then that he read the message on his phone. It was from Bubbles.

Putting two and two together like a paired ping he realised his mother had Bubbles sell phone. He replied, “Hello Gwanny. Bubbles wish you good night now and blow you a big kiss.”

The ping rang around the house. The crinkle of wrapping paper stopped as everyone checked their phones, chuckling at the message..

Downstairs Grandma smiled when she checked the ping. Jamie knew and that was good she thought.

A bit later when Jamie Went downstairs again he found his mother fast asleep on the couch. He covered her with the rug they brought out each Christmas. He saw the glass of milk and cookies his wife had left for Santa, a tradition she insisted for Bubbles sake they continue. But next to the glass of milk were Grandma’s set of false teeth.

The next day the picture of the false teeth next to Santa’s snack went viral. All around the world the sound of ping’s could be heard. Been around, been around.

#writing